Samii Ryan's Blog
Today I am doing a video talking about my opinion on sexual behavior and how it differs from gender. Also I am including my opinion on the "hook up" culture!! This one is a juicy one.. I may have went Gretchen Weiners on it.. but a girl has to get some things off her chest! DAMNNN. ;)
Finally you can find all these sex toys and many more at Hello Cheri! Check out their website and see what you can find to spice up your sex life. HELLO CHERI
Let me know your opinion on sexual behavior and how it differs among gender. Whatchu thinkkkk?
Thanks for watching and thank you for all the support!
Check out my blog The Bleached Niche
Via Nasty Gal.. so accurate I had to share.
While I was on the pier in St. Augustine I was staring at the water, the waves building up and releasing. Then BOOM it all hit me, like a sack of trucks that all rear ended one another, like full highway pile up. I had this ephipany about men. What I realized is that the men who are players, are the men who had a girl break their heart, and unfortunately they hold on to that pain. It seems to me like men hold onto that pain so deeply, it scares their insides, it throws a wall up around their heart and soul. I also then realized that I was one of the girls that also broke some guys heart, and I have dated men who have been heart broken by that one girl, and they will never be the same. And there is nothing you can do about it, nothing you can change about them. Because the past can influence your life today. In a good or bad way.
So let me give some specific examples of this ephipany I had while I was watching the waves crash down.. In the beginning of the year I dated this Sagittarious man. I was completely obsessed with this dude. It was right after a breakup so I needed someone to fill that void for me, and bring back those feelings of someone loving me and giving me attention. So as I was talking to this guy, we texted everyday, called me every day, facetimed me every day, for sure in my books- your dating. He even came to the East Coast from LA and we spent 4 days together. This Sagittarious man was a beautiful wounded soul. I knew how amazing he was, how much he went through, and I also knew how badly he got hurt by this one girl. He would share stories with me, and I would listen, I would let him vent, and then I would come back at him with something heart warming, and some words to boost him up. I think I said to him once, "Even though you went through something bad, you had good times, and you learned from that relationship.. so now you can grow and contribute those things you've learned into your next relationship." Okay, now point A heart broken wounded boy.. point B-- player player player. After he came to the East Coast he went radio silent and I soon found out that he was "talking" to 2 others girls including me at the same time.. Damn that hurt/sucked actually.
Next, there was this Cancer man I dated.. He was everything to me, I actually think I fell in love for the second time in my life.. But these days I am questioning if those feelings were even real or if I was just in lust with the idea of being in love. Anyway, let's get to this broken hearted man. He told me stories about this one girl that broke his heart, this one girl that he cried over. BOOM there it was! I should have realized the pattern that was taking place in my life. I was the girl who broke someones heart (I mean my heart was also shattered into pieces, so it's really not my fault) and now I was dating these heart broken men who vented to me, told me things, opened up to me... then just turned on me. So this Cancer man has an amazing personality he is just like my best friend, my sister and my Dad.. Life of the party, outgoing, heart of gold, soft on the inside, hard on the outside, and a bit controling. Ever since he had his heart broken by this one girl, maybe he doesn't even value what relationships are. Maybe they are just people to have fun with. He told me stories about how many girls he was with, and I heard stories too.. Which I should have stood back and realized this was a repeat offense I was dealing with. But when that one was over.. oh damn watch out pillow.. I cried for about a week, drove myself crazy for about 2 weeks, and I am in the process of trying to eliminate him from my life.
I think I ruined this Scorpio man that was in my life. Yes, we were together for quiet some time. But now I can see that he is turning into that Cancer, and Sagittarious man that I dated. Cold hearted towards women and relationships.. Just looking to have fun ad hook up, not really caring about matters with the heart. It's not that our relationship ended because of me.. we both split ways and went into different directions in our lives. I was extremely heart broken as well, but I think it wounded him more. Wounded him so deeply into his soul that he looks at women like they are ghosts and see's right through them.
Fortunately for me, I use Magick to bind these men from my hopeless romantic soul. I always wear my heart on my sleeve, as cheesey as it sounds.. But when I fall I fall hard, and falling out of love, or lust is probably the worst thing you ever experience. I binded my Sagittarious and Scorpio from me, and now I think the time has come to bind the Cancer. Jeesh I bind all these men from me, there are going to be none left for me to date!
Anyway, since I keep having these run ins with these men who have had their hearts broken in the past they are WALLS that I try to break down, and I try to fix them and build them back up. Mistake again.. So what do you think happens to the girls who get their hearts broken by men in their lives? Do you think we are just pathtic individuals who are so eager to find love again that we take any chance we have and leap on it?
Whose to say, all I know is that I had this ephipany while I was staring at waves build up and then crash and release into the surf. I am going to take that in a symbolic way. All these situations have built up in my wave I call Samii's Love Life.. and they just crashed down and have been released in the the Universe. We are all a little stronger than we think we are.
Or maybe I am just an overthinking psycho bitch.
I wanted to do a new makeup tutorial using this gorgeous new eyeshadow palette I got from Tarte Cosmetics. I am obsessed with browns for fall so I think this is a perfect look. It is especially good to bring out some lighter colored eyes.
Here are the products I used;
- Too Faced Chocoloate Soleil Bronzer
- Milani Bronzer
- Tarte Cosmetics Blush
- Laura Mercier Highlight
- Tarte Cosmetics Eyebrow Pot in Taupe
- Tarte Cosmetics Eyeshadow Palette
- Wet and Wild Liquid Eyeliner
- Rimmel London Lip Liner Eastend Snob
- NYX Dewy Finishing Spray
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So I got this micro roller in the mail a couple months ago and have been using it a couple nights a week to help with my acne scarring on my face. A couple months ago I went off my birth control and then went back on it .. it completely screwed up my hormones and gave me some awful breakouts. Unfortunately for me, whenever I get a break out the scar tends to stay red and annoying and doesn't go away.
The micro roller is really easy to use and doesn't inflict a lot of pain.. and the best part is.. it doesn't cost a fortune!
You can find this micro roller online for only $50- SHOP HERE
All you need to do is clean it with 70-90% alchohol first and then roll it on your face in criss cross motions on any areas which are acne scarred. I rolled them for 20-25 seconds each way until I switched areas.
After I am done rolling, I put some Eucerin face reparing lotion on my face and let it soak in over night. Literally in a month I saw some amazing results. I never would go out without makeup, and now I will go out without makeup.
My skin isn't 100% but it is 10000% better than it was. I am learning to love the skin I am in and this little micro roller helped me do that!
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Last night I was up until 3-4am.. right before I go to bed I call in my spirit guides and Archangel Michael to clear anything from me that is negativly impacting my life. I surround myself with white light and let go of any attached energies from my cellular memory. Sometime after I completed my white light prayer, I kept getting a voice in my head. I kept getting all these words and I had to wake up and put them in my phone. I had to type them out. Whatever it was telling me to type these words, it was like a sweet release. I asked Archangel Michael to release anything that is attached to me that is negative and that is exactly what I did. I woke up, starting typing a text and spend a couple minutes laying down and staring at the ceiling before I pressed SEND. As soon as I pressed send, it was like all that baggage was lifted off my shoulders, all those feelings, emotions, attachements were lifted off of me and released.. finally. I felt like I was half asleep when I was texting or creating these words to send, almost like someone took over my body and was writing everything I needed to say and everything I needed to get into the Universe.
One of my downfalls is that when I fall in love with someone I put all my energy into them, and anything else that is happening in my life is on the sideline. Which is so bad because I never get the same love in return. I decided to stop focusing on boys and start to bring my FULL energy into Samii Ryan and By Samii Ryan. I have so many amazing things lined up for me, working with new business partner for By Samii Ryan, so many personal projects that are going to set me up for life. But while all these things were happening on the side my energy wasn't 100% on them.. and it should have been. And now it is.
It is funny I read my horoscope today for Aries it said;
You are good at many things, Aries. You can think on your feet. You are a fabulous manger. You know how to get what you want. When it comes to your ability to express yourself sensually or emotionally, you may have some trouble. You don't always feel comfortable saying or showing how you feel. It's a vulnerability thing- you don't want to appear weak or under anyone's control, and somehow to you that translates to that kind of expresson. You can still be strong and show your emotions, and that's something important for you to work on, as you may now be discovering.
BAM. That is another one of my downfalls, I love hard, but expressing myself is hard because I want to be so strong, I don't want to anyone who hurt me to see me cry, to see me torn up. But you know what.. whenever I do this-- express myself in the middle of the night I always get a text back saying "Don't text me back" and then I get it.. That is all I needed to move on, it happened before, and it has happened again. Right now I feel happier than ever, stronger. wiser, and more determined than ever to complete all my dreams.. Because as soon as I focus on myself, my accessory line.. everything will fall into place. A part of me knows that a boy isn't in my near future because I get distracted to easily by them. I need my 100% love and energy on me.
I am free.
Hello My LOVES!
Today I wanted to do a video showing you my updated foundation and contour routine! My skin has gotten 1000% better and I am loving every minute of it!
First things first I am wearing a wig from Lavant Garde Hair:
Second thing, I got some AMAZING lash extenions in LA from Arianna Montazem (email@example.com for apts)
Thats pretty much all the things I wanted to go through haha! Here are the products I use to get a flawless face!
- 1) Physcians Formula Green Color Corrector
- 2) Nuetrogena Skin Clearing Foundation 80
- 3) Maybelline Foundation Stick (Light)
- 4) Nuetrogena Skin Clearing Powder
- 5) Too Face Bronzer Chocolate Soleil
- 6) Milani Bronzer 06 Golden Baked Bronzer
- 7) Tarte Cosmetics Blush Captivating
- 8) Tarte Cosmetics Gel Eyebrow Pot Taupe
- 9) Naked 3 Palette Light Pink Shadow
- 10) Essence Crazy Volume Mascara
- 11) Wet & Wild Black Liquid Eyeliner
Thanks for watching LOVERS!
Love you all- thank you for the support!
Ello my lover bugs.. recently I have been going through some personal issues dealing with a breakup. I swear if you look at my Buzznet page one day you see me so in love, swooning, and the next day I am a bitter, depressed person. I think with any break you go through stages.. love, sadness, anger, then your over it. Right now I am in the anger stage. I don't want to have any anger towards love, but I do. So I have been reading The Power and today I turned to the page "The Secret To Relationships" so let's see what I am missing here.
"Life presents everything to you so that you can choose what you love. And past of the gift of life is that you are given all kinds of people, so you can choose what you love in those people and turn away what you don't love."
Good point.. let's pick out the good things I loved in him and only focus on the positive right now.
- Made me laugh
- Great Lips
- Chemistry was insane
- Decent style, can be better
- Treated me like a lady
- Loved me
- Had a great job
- Loved his job
- I could learn from
Okay, now that we have listed out some of the positives, let's continue with the Secret of Relationships..
"You are not meant to manufacture love for qualities in a person you don't love, but simply to turn away without giving them any feeling. Turning away from what you don't love in someone means you're relaced about it, and you know life is giving you a choice. It doesn't mean that you argue with them to prove to they're wrong or you criticize or blame them, or that you want to change them because you think your right. Because if you do any of these things, you are not giving love-- big time!"
Let's let that sink in... I do not want to have any negative or angry feelings towards him, I'm just so hurt it is something to blame it on. So as it says above you can't argue with them to prove they are wrong. So I might as well let him figure that out for himself. I didn't do anything wrong to end the relationship. But I guess I can not change the fact that he is afraid of commitment and when our relationship was going really fast he pulled back and disappeared. I can't criticize or blame him for doing any of that to me. That is how how he felt and I can't be angry because of how someone feels. I can only move forward and let go of the past. Because in reality that's how he is, and I can't change a person. I can only give love.
I need to focus on myself, give love, spread love. Stop focusing on the negative and focus on the positive. This is my last post about me venting about my breakup .. time to have Samii Ryan vision.. make my dreams happen with no distraction.
READY, SET, GO.