Samii Ryan

Samii Ryan's Blog

Slut Shaming

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Apr 13, 2015


Don’t you remember in the Mean Girls movie.. calling each other degrading names doesn’t work out to well for Regina George and The Plastics.. she got hit by a bus…

Here’s the thing I don’t quiet understand.. slut shaming; when girls call other girls degrading names. Why do girls call one another; whore, slut, skank, cunt, hoe, bitch.. etc.  We all know what it feels like to be hurt by name calling.. we as woman know how sensitive one another are, so it is okay to name call them because we know it will hurt their feelings? As women we are degraded by men all the time, but for another woman to degrade another woman is absolutely ridiculous.

I for one have been around verbally abusive men before. I heard my Mom getting screamed at by my Dad at a young age. Him calling her a “cunt” all the time, him degrading her, and saying words to her that were so hurtful she would cry. I was in a relationship and it ended with him calling me a slut, and a whore, saying anything he could to hurt my feelings, saying anything he could to get a reaction out of me, to break me.

Verbal abuse is just as hurtful as physical abuse. Physical abuse might leave you with bruises and scars… but eventually they fade away. Verbal abuse will stick with you and scar your soul. Any abusive is unacceptable.

So in our society when we have men that are capable of abusing women verbally by calling them evil names..why should woman do the same?

We as woman should stand together, we as woman should support each other, we as woman should never put down another women with words.. because if we do it to each other it just makes it more okay for men to do it to us.

I create a lot of content on Sex & The Valley about sex and relationships and share my experience with you all. I also create videos on my YouTube channel talking about sex toys, and gender differences with sex. I am used to getting comments from girls telling me I am a “slut” for talking about sex. Getting comments that I am a “whore” for sharing my experiences with the world. It doesn’t bother me that I get negative comments on content.. just because nothing is always going to be cupcakes and unicorns.

The thing that get’s to me is that it is woman saying it to other woman. Do they not see that when a woman calls another woman a name on a public forum it makes it OKAY for a man to slut shame a woman on a public forum and in REAL LIFE. We are literally making it okay for men to call us names, because we are so catty that we feel like degrading another woman will do something for us, makes ourselves feel better.

Being a woman we go through so many hard things, from gender equality, to cultural differences. We fought to have equal rights, we are fighting to have equal pay. We do not need other women tearing each other down, we need to bring each other up, we need to empower each other to be who we are. We need to give each other strength and courage. We need to help each other gain confidence.

When people try to tear you down it is a reflection of their own insecurities. Sure we are human, we get jealous, we get pissed off, we get down right ANGRY. Yes I will admit I have gotten into arguments with my sister and called her names, I am not an angel here. However, this blog post isn’t about loving every woman who is on the planet and being nice to everyone.. it is about why women shouldn’t SLUT SHAME each other. Why woman should stop degrading other woman to make themselves feel better, to make themselves look tough, to make themselves be the “bigger” person.

I would like to propose something on Sex & The Valley.. all of you are the best and most loyal readers out there. You are all open to hearing, and learning about sex, relationships, and reading the truth about being a woman. I propose that we all stand together and vow not to slut shame each other online, or on a public forum. I propose that we stand together and unite.

We can all be bad bitches, we can all be hot babes, we can ALL be successful. We as woman have the power to change the world, so let’s start by changing our actions to help one another grow and become powerful, successful women.

Like Queen B said;

Who run the world.. GIRLS!


Samii Ryan

Spring Sale !

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Mar 31, 2015

By Samii Ryan is having a Spring Sale! Use code SPRING30 at checkout for 30% off your order!

Shop online today! this deal won't last forever!


Samii Ryan

Why You Should Never Go Back..

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Feb 15, 2015

I found this article while browsing around Facebook and it hit hard for me. Everything in this article I took into my soul because I needed to hear it.. yet again. Read below if you have an inner TSwift heart like me..

Article was written by Sophia Wu for Elite Daily

There are certain people to whom you’re attracted who are just plain toxic, regardless of whether you’re dating or just hooking up.

There’s an insatiable irresistibility about these people, in the way that they are close enough to you just to be out of reach.

It’s like you are constantly grasping for the threads of hope they dangle in front of you, whether intentional or not, but you somehow still find your fingers slipping into thin air.

You fall flat on your face, and it’s not the first time you’ve done it, nor the last.

You love seeing this person’s name light up on your phone. You would do anything to see him or her genuinely smile. You crave the way he or she looks at you when you’re alone together.

But, you’re looking into his or her eyes and you’re not quite getting the reflection you want.

There’s a disconnect, a sense of distance that tells you he or she isn’t quite present with you and never will be, despite how badly you want him or her to be.

He or she can say you’re beautiful, and you want to believe it because the words reach a part of you that makes you ache in both pleasure and pain.

A part of you seeks the pain this person gives you. It’s a twisted cycle of going back and forth to this person, and you can’t stop yourself from returning because of all the possibilities you convince yourself await.

“Maybe, this time will be different,” you tell yourself with willful naiveté. You know better, but you turn a blind eye, anyway.

The issue in being the one who always gets hurt is rationality takes the backseat in driving your decisions. You know perfectly well what is happening, what the consequences will be and why it’s bad for you.

You’re well aware there’s a difference between someone who treats you like a priority and someone who treats you as an option.

Usually, rationality does eventually win, but often, it takes a while to get there. Your emotions trump the bald truth screaming in your face because you give in too easily to your desire to wrap your arms around his or her neck again.

I suppose this can be perceived as weak and emotionally immature, and to an extent, it is.

We’re told to never settle for less than we deserve. So, why do we do it? Does giving in to temptation and giving up some of our power to someone who doesn’t regard us as high as we deserve make us lesser?

Perhaps, it just makes us all the more human to be foolish, hopeful, vulnerable and stubborn, all at once.

We purposely won’t listen to our friends’ advice, fully aware of the damages that will arrive after that long-anticipated, most likely drunken, kiss. All we want is for them to want us, too.

Getting hurt is one of the most intimate experiences you can have with someone else. It happens to even the strongest among us because we all have feelings and memories of which we are reluctant to let go.

But, I realize that while you may not be able to control how you feel, you do have control over how you allow yourself to be treated.

As much as we’d like to believe people would change for us, they, realistically, never will. It’s important we recognize and accept that.

There’s only so much you can tolerate, and part of the solution is figuring out your limits and what you ultimately want for yourself. It’s not easy when you find yourself slipping back into old, familiar patterns. But, in the end, your happiness is in your hands.

Some people, no matter how much we are drawn to them, are not worth that sacrifice.

Relighting a Candle..

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Feb 05, 2015

When  you light a candle for the first time, you see the flame grow and become massive. It is so powerful that the wax on the candle starts to melt. But what happens when you all of the sudden blow out the candle, and there is just an old black wick that once held such a beautiful flame. Can you relight the candle again and get the same flame?

Clearly I am not writing this blog to talk about candles, I am talking about relationships. If you have a relationship which starts with so much intenisty, love, passion, and lust then it all of the sudden stops. Can you rekindle those emotions and feelings back into that relationship? Maybe it wasn't good timing, maybe the other person wasn't ready for you, maybe you were too intense for one another. That is the question I am asking myself these days. Can you actually rekindle a relationship for the better?

I had a relationship during the summer time, which all I can describe was the most beautiful, intense, loving, and passionate feelings I've ever had towards someone. The relationship ended, and it wasn't because we did anything wrong, it was because within 2-3 weeks we were already in love, and I honestly don't think the other person in the relationship was ready for that kind of love. He told me that he got cold feet, and apologized several times for all the awful things he said to me. 

But when you run into each other again after not seeing or speaking to each other in months and those feelings are still there what does that mean? Am I just in lust with the idea of being happy, am I just wanting to feel those feelings again with this person? I guess all I can really do is do my thing and see what happens. Before our relationship was long distance and really difficult. But now I am living in the same city, we have the ability to actually take it slow, get to know one another, learn about each other. 

It is just SO weird starting off a relationshiop with so much intensity to a pause, and then trying to rekindle something you once had. This time I know that both of our walls are up, but the passion and emotions and feelings still exist in both of us. It is going slow, which is how relationships should start off. Can love actually change you, can you actually at some point not know how you feel?

So I guess the real question that I am about to find out the answer to is.. Can you relight a flame on a candle and still have it burn so bright or will there always be a black wick windling in the past.


Samii Ryan

LA & Positive Living VLOG!

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Nov 15, 2014

Hey Love Bugs!

I know I say "I'm SO excited" about 50 thousands times in this video but I am literally so excited. HAHA! I am full of gratitude and pumped for everything. Right now I am staying in Studio City for a month for work! I have to say I love it here.

Be sure to follow The Bleached Niche!


Samii Ryan


Samii Ryan Talks Sexual Behavior

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Oct 20, 2014

Hey Loves!

Today I am doing a video talking about my opinion on sexual behavior and how it differs from gender. Also I am including my opinion on the "hook up" culture!! This one is a juicy one.. I may have went Gretchen Weiners on it.. but a girl has to get some things off her chest! DAMNNN. ;)

Finally you can find all these sex toys and many more at Hello Cheri! Check out their website and see what you can find to spice up your sex life. HELLO CHERI

Let me know your opinion on sexual behavior and how it differs among gender. Whatchu thinkkkk?

Thanks for watching and thank you for all the support!

Check out my blog The Bleached Niche 


Samii Ryan


Aries Horoscope October 2014

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Oct 09, 2014

Via Nasty Gal.. so accurate I had to share.

Watch out, Aries! Between the lunar eclipse on the 8th and Mercury going retrograde for most of October, you have your work cut out for you this month. You’re in a major growth spurt and if you play your cards right, you can let go of some deep emotional compulsions that have been getting in the way of your important relationships. Avoid the impulse to obsess on what other people are or aren’t doing this month, ’cause it’s all about you, baby.

A lunar eclipse feels like a full moon on crack, and this one is happening in your sign (you lucky dog). That means that you may feel hella dramatic, but you can put that noise to good use. Don’t avoid conflicts from the 8th - 10th, but don’t go around picking fights, either. Things are coming up so that you deal with them, so you need to make an effort to be constructive in how you do that. The theme here is to let go of the ways that you are participating in your life that don’t make you happy. That means taking responsibility for yourself, Arie—even if the other person is totally douchey, doesn’t mean that you get to be a douche too. With Mercury, the planet of communications retrograde in your relationship house, you’re unlikely to be successful in explaining yourself to others. Don’t tell them what’s up; show them. Be the woman you want to be, sans excuses and defenses. Your biggest obstacle is likely to be in your own damn head this month, so cope with your anxieties and feelings with integrity. Own your part as you improve your life and soothe your heart.

TMI 50 Questions; Breakups, Music, Tattoos

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Oct 08, 2014

Hey Lovers

Today I decided to film this super fun video. It is TMI 50 questions.. which is including questions about breakups, music, tattoos, fears, pretty much everything. 

Check out this 12 minute video and you will find out too much about me hehe.


Samii Ryan


My Ephipany

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Oct 05, 2014

While I was on the pier in St. Augustine I was staring at the water, the waves building up and releasing. Then BOOM it all hit me, like a sack of trucks that all rear ended one another, like full highway pile up. I had this ephipany about men. What I realized is that the men who are players, are the men who had a girl break their heart, and unfortunately they hold on to that pain. It seems to me like men hold onto that pain so deeply, it scares their insides, it throws a wall up around their heart and soul. I also then realized that I was one of the girls that also broke some guys heart, and I have dated men who have been heart broken by that one girl, and they will never be the same. And there is nothing you can do about it, nothing you can change about them. Because the past can influence your life today. In a good or bad way.

So let me give some specific examples of this ephipany I had while I was watching the waves crash down.. In the beginning of the year I dated this Sagittarious man. I was completely obsessed with this dude. It was right after a breakup so I needed someone to fill that void for me, and bring back those feelings of someone loving me and giving me attention. So as I was talking to this guy, we texted everyday, called me every day, facetimed me every day, for sure in my books- your dating. He even came to the East Coast from LA and we spent 4 days together. This Sagittarious man was a beautiful wounded soul. I knew how amazing he was, how much he went through, and I also knew how badly he got hurt by this one girl. He would share stories with me, and I would listen, I would let him vent, and then I would come back at him with something heart warming, and some words to boost him up. I think I said to him once, "Even though you went through something bad, you had good times, and you learned from that relationship.. so now you can grow and contribute those things you've learned into your next relationship." Okay, now point A heart broken wounded boy.. point B-- player player player. After he came to the East Coast he went radio silent and I soon found out that he was "talking" to 2 others girls including me at the same time.. Damn that hurt/sucked actually.

Next, there was this Cancer man I dated.. He was everything to me, I actually think I fell in love for the second time in my life.. But these days I am questioning if those feelings were even real or if I was just in lust with the idea of being in love. Anyway, let's get to this broken hearted man. He told me stories about this one girl that broke his heart, this one girl that he cried over. BOOM there it was! I should have realized the pattern that was taking place in my life. I was the girl who broke someones heart (I mean my heart was also shattered into pieces, so it's really not my fault) and now I was dating these heart broken men who vented to me, told me things, opened up to me... then just turned on me. So this Cancer man has an amazing personality he is just like my best friend, my sister and my Dad.. Life of the party, outgoing, heart of gold, soft on the inside, hard on the outside, and a bit controling. Ever since he had his heart broken by this one girl, maybe he doesn't even value what relationships are. Maybe they are just people to have fun with. He told me stories about how many girls he was with, and I heard stories too.. Which I should have stood back and realized this was a repeat offense I was dealing with. But when that one was over.. oh damn watch out pillow.. I cried for about a week, drove myself crazy for about 2 weeks, and I am in the process of trying to eliminate him from my life.

I think I ruined this Scorpio man that was in my life. Yes, we were together for quiet some time. But now I can see that he is turning into that Cancer, and Sagittarious man that I dated. Cold hearted towards women and relationships.. Just looking to have fun ad hook up, not really caring about matters with the heart. It's not that our relationship ended because of me.. we both split ways and went into different directions in our lives. I was extremely heart broken as well, but I think it wounded him more. Wounded him so deeply into his soul that he looks at women like they are ghosts and see's right through them.

Fortunately for me, I use Magick to bind these men from my hopeless romantic soul. I always wear my heart on my sleeve, as cheesey as it sounds.. But when I fall I fall hard, and falling out of love, or lust is probably the worst thing you ever experience. I binded my Sagittarious and Scorpio from me, and now I think the time has come to bind the Cancer. Jeesh I bind all these men from me, there are going to be none left for me to date!

Anyway, since I keep having these run ins with these men who have had their hearts broken in the past they are WALLS that I try to break down, and I try to fix them and build them back up. Mistake again.. So what do you think happens to the girls who get their hearts broken by men in their lives? Do you think we are just pathtic individuals who are so eager to find love again that we take any chance we have and leap on it?

Whose to say, all I know is that I had this ephipany while I was staring at waves build up and then crash and release into the surf. I am going to take that in a symbolic way. All these situations have built up in my wave I call Samii's Love Life.. and they just crashed down and have been released in the the Universe. We are all a little stronger than we think we are.

Or maybe I am just an overthinking psycho bitch.


Samii Ryan


Brown Smokey Tarte Look

Samii Ryan
Samii Ryan Oct 02, 2014

Hey Lovers.

I wanted to do a new makeup tutorial using this gorgeous new eyeshadow palette I got from Tarte Cosmetics. I am obsessed with browns for fall so I think this is a perfect look. It is especially good to bring out some lighter colored eyes.

Here are the products I used;

  • Too Faced Chocoloate Soleil Bronzer
  • Milani Bronzer
  • Tarte Cosmetics Blush
  • Laura Mercier Highlight
  • Tarte Cosmetics Eyebrow Pot in Taupe
  • Tarte Cosmetics Eyeshadow Palette
  • Wet and Wild Liquid Eyeliner
  • Rimmel London Lip Liner Eastend Snob
  • NYX Dewy Finishing Spray

Thanks for watching, subscribe and follow me! Love YOU!



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Samii Ryan's Profile Picture
Samii Ryan (more info)
  • Member Since: 2011-08-25

About Me:

Owner of By Samii Ryan Inc.


Acting, Crafting, Feathers, Horseback Riding, Music, Soduko, Thrift stores

Favorite Music:

(NO) maxi single, Arcade Fire, Christina Grimmie, David Bowie (Official), Dawes, Demi Lovato, Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, Edelweiss, Edie Sedgwick, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Eisley, Eyes Set To Kill, Folly, Frank and Derol, Greyson Chance, Jess Bowen, Kesha, LIGHTS, Lady Gaga, Madame Luxe, Miley Cyrus, Monsters of Folk, Mumford and Sons, The Beatles, The Body Electric, The Cynz, Victoria Justice, Viva Voce, by Edelweiss

Favorite Movies:

BLUE VALENTINE, Sundance Film Festival

Favorite TV Shows:

Entourage, Food Nation, Man v